How to Avoid Killing Each Other Over Chores

One of the most amazing things in the world is how quickly two seemingly rational adults will lose their shit over something as pointless as who left the towel on the ground. When you move in together with your significant other you’re usually expecting things to be smooth sailing. After all, staying at someone else’s house is a totally different experience than having to live there.

It’s a huge adjustment period and if you didn’t clearly lay out the ground rules or your expectations this period of time can be absolutely miserable.

Here are some little suggestions that could make a big difference in the long term. Hopefully, you can avoid sleeping on your brand new Ikea couch for the rest of the week.

  1. If you can afford to have someone come every two weeks and clean up, do it, really. It doesn’t make you lazy or entitled. Take advantage of the services that are available to you and make your life just a little easier.
  2. Talk about what you expect the other person to be taking care of. Miscommunications are probably one of the biggest hurdles that people face when it comes to a relationship. More often than not we come into them with a lot of ideas about how we want things to be, but we don’t ever really stop to communicate those ideas to the other person.
  3. Be considerate. If you’re living with someone and they seem to pick up a lot of your slack don’t just tell yourself that they do it because they want to. Take the time to thank them and repay them in other ways. If your husband did all of the cooking for dinner, it may not be a bad idea to do the dishes. This may seem like common sense but when you start to get comfortable in a relationship you also start to take things for granted. Additionally, if you do find yourself living with someone who pulls more than their own weight around the house it also doesn’t hurt to check with them and make sure that they’re actually comfortable with bearing the majority of the burden.
  4. Learn how to be a grown up. Your boyfriend/girlfriend is not your mother. Hell, not even your own mother wants to pick up after you for your entire life. If you were living alone would you really just leave your dishes in the sink for weeks? Probably not, you leave them in the sink because you know someone else is going to do it for you. Grow up, take care of yourself.

Are there are lessons you’ve learned from either successfully or unsuccessfully trying to divide household chores with your significant other?


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