Is it Ever Okay to go Dutch?

dating, going dutch, date etiquette
The answer is yes and no.

My guy friends will raise this question quite a bit. Going out on dates gets expensive for men and it gets expensive pretty fast so some guys may be tempted to go dutch on the occasional date or two.For some women, the second that you slide that little black checkbook over it’s like basically just over. You could literally just stand up and walk yourself out of the restaurant. This has very little to do with women being materialistic or gold diggers. It’s this little thing called a social norm. We’ve all been told that men pay for dinner and if a guy doesn’t pay for dinner he’s either cheap or not really into you. Those are two thoughts you definitely don’t want to have flash in your head while you’re sitting there at the end of dinner.

So, when is it okay to split that check both ways?

If she asks, you reaffirm if she’s sure\she wants to pay, and she says yes then it’s okay. If your date is a woman who believes that dating etiquette is outdated and that men and women are equal therefore it should be equal from the very beginning then by all means just let her. Don’t argue with her or try to spot the hidden feminist and please for the love of God DO NOT SNATCH THE CHECKBOOK OUT OF HER HANDS. Even if you mean for it to be playful it will not come off that way. Just let her pay. This is also a good opportunity to have a conversation about how traditional she may or may not be. This isn’t meant to insult anyone’s masculinity, but if you are the kind of guy who feels like has manhood just got snatched you probably aren’t a good fit for this kind of girl.

There are some men out there that feel like this is just unfair to men and that we as a society should move past this.

I’m not going to comment about that. I would like to add though that if you feel that strongly about something you should talk about first to avoid having any misunderstandings about your intent. Even after that conversation your date may think you’re kind of a douchebag and never speak to you again. That’s sort of the risk we all take when we go against the social norm. That just comes down to one of the biggest quirks about dating in general! If you’re dating the right person for you, they will understand.

But in general….it may just be easier to pick up the check.

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