To Text or Not to Text? That is the Question.

OC Matchmaking, text, texting, rant, matchmaking, online dating, online profile

In this year of 2016 “To Text or Not to Text” is truly the proverbial question.  With the way technology is moving, and the speed of communication, is it fair to like text as a way of getting to know people, starting, building and ending dating relationships?

Of course, all will have their own answers but after many years of happily dating, I will say that I love a man who can have great text banter with me.

It is a turn on, connection point and can be a great way to get to know someone without the interview feel.

I was just talking with a coworker yesterday and he was so excited to be going on his date. He was comparing the two guys he met off of an app. Both planned dates with him that were ways out because of calendar schedule conflicts, but the one he was most excited about was the one who checked in daily with a  sweet thought or to ask about the end of his day. We love how this commentates intention, effort, and thoughtfulness. All qualities and traits that I want out of a partner.

The other was sporadic and felt distant with his texting. This created the impression that there wasn’t much interest, and ultimately who wants mediocre effort in the beginning of a relationship.

Now I’ve been texting a new guy for about 8 days and I feel like we have had so much fun getting to know each other.  It’s safe, creative banter that gets me ready for the first date that is on its way. We have sent pics (only clean, saving the cookies for later), talked about our trips, and planned a few more dates, since our text chatter was so fun!

Now, I wouldn’t be texting him for this long if #1 had not happened and #2 was not a reality.
  1. He planned a date the very first day that we were texting (yes, via text).
  2. He is on a 10 day trip with 3 family members, as I was with my 3, and I know how they have ears like radars so us single parents are trying to keep it on the DL.
So what I am saying is that I am ok with starting a texting relationship when you know that there will be a real event at the end.

I am not ok with chit chat, that never leads to anywhere. I know my end goal of having a romantic relationship, not another text buddy.

He made a comment the other night that showed his concern for over-texting me. He was afraid he was over texting me. I simply told him that I wouldn’t be responding so much or I would probably redirect it if I wanted too.  There is always one in the relationship that can change the speed of texting, but if both are having fun and involved throughout the day… go with you!  You can always TTYL if you need to get stuff done!

The best parts are the sweet lines that I get to keep and reread.  It is totally a hopeless romantic feeling!!

“Every time I’m near my phone and hear a text coming in I check it now just in case it’s you.  That’s how much I like you.”

“I find myself checking my phone like my 13-year-old daughter.  I can’t wait to get back to it to see if you wrote.  And this is the longest text change I’ve ever had. Haven’t deleted a thing.”

My theory: Guys don’t waste their time texting this unless they like you. And ladies won’t spend the time texting back unless they like you back.

I love that he is sweet enough to check in on me, encourage me and share his feelings with me.  I know dating is a crazy game and that this is a bonus and speaks volumes.  There’s nothing a woman wants more than security knowing that her and adores her. Great text check-in’s, sweet emojis and fun selfies are the new Hallmark cards…it just is.


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